ORSTRALIAN AIR CRASH MAY BE WORLD'S WORST.
Unconfirmed reports indicate huge death toll in Queensland take-off accident.
Mr. Paddy (dingo-breath) O'Pheeney, chief bouncer and bar-poet of the far-west Queensland Ettamogga Hotel, has reported to the "Ettamogga Elucidator" that a departing cropdusting pilot lost directional control of his CAC Wombat Mk IV agricultural aircraft on the hotel's adjacent airstrip at 22.55 last night following a business meeting with a large gathering of local graziers. The aircraft veered 90 degrees, demolished the establishment's outhouse (fortunately not occupied) and impacted against a three metre high anthill. A large quantity of fuel escaped from a ruptured tank, dousing the anthill. Mr. O'Pheeney, in a highly emotive state, told the duty reporter, between broken sobs, that the death toll was estimated to be over five million, and was likely to rise further once the sun rose enabling a better examination of the ghastly scene. Australian Civil Aviation investigators are en-route to Ettamogga and are particularly keen to interview the veteran 67 year old cropdusting pilot known to generations of the locals as "Flyblown".
(Interim crash report ends.)