British Colony solves Heathrow's runway capacity crisis.
It was with great pride that I watched, on BBC, our Monarch open your new passenger shed this morning. And a jolly nice shed it is too! But your Mayor seems quite unable to solve the third runway dilemma on his own so I, a humble New Zealander from Latitude 37 S and Long. 175 E, have an inspired solution for the undoubted centre of the Galaxy; perhaps even the entire Universe, be it closed or infinitely open. We realise that your tiny landmass is not only being engulfed by rising sea levels, but is also tilting. East coast going down, west coast rising. (do you find yourselves tending to lean to the west whilst strolling the Strand?) Anyway; you have a desperate requirement for another runway to not only cope with more aeroplanes, but which will still be able to operate when storm surges threaten to create a serious aquaplaning hazard. My solution will not only ameliorate that impending peril, but will DOUBLE your capacity. You must cease thinking in Flat-lander concepts and elevate your minds from the dreary rain-sodden wastes you inhabit. You should construct TWO new "EARLS". (Elevated Aeroplane Runway Landing Sites). These should be positioned directly above the existing airstrips using tall reinforced concrete poles which could be designed to resemble some particulary British feature; perhaps Stonehenge? There will be sceptics of course. The dismal Jimmys are forever with us! However I have thought out the safety implications. On the EARLS edges will be safety nets into which an aircraft will be safely enmeshed should it suffer an excursion. (perhaps increasingly likely now that the new breed of pilots are losing the use of their rudder pedal activators..feet.) A new system of layered Precision Approach profiles will be designed using ADS-B. Lower Class runways will use a 2.0 degree profile and the Upper Class runways 3.5 degrees. I anticipate that British Airways will institute a new Upper Class only service and will be able to taxi directly up ramps, fringed with British flags, to the new EARLS. As far as possible, the Lower Class strips will be used by the no-frills type of cheap package-tour operator thus preserving the well-proven British class system which has served our Motherland so well for centuries. Some American carriers may be able to use the Upper Class EARLS as traffic permits. It is important that you maintain cosy relationships with the folk from your former Colony. It is just possible that ICAO may raise some objections to the scheme, But they are a purely advisory body and many nations already ignore their recommendations. Well, there is the solution to your problem. We may be an insignificant island colony located in the storm-wracked Southern Ocean, but we like to believe we can still be loyal and of assistance to Mother Britain. (I shall have to sign of now as I am quite overcome with emotional and patriotic fervour as I am one of the dwindling few who lived during the great days of the Empire.)