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US Airline fees: What you'll pay to check a bag, change your ticket and much more.

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flyvertosset Posted: Thu, Mar 17 2011 5:47 AM

Here is an interesting look at what fees US airlines charge to most coach passengers. Very frequent fliers and passengers with full-fare tickets may be exempt from the fees or pay less.

http://www.usatoday.com/travel/flights/2010-09-26-airline-fees-breakdown_N.htm

To start off here are a few examples of new ways to nickel and dime air travellers to bankruptcy:

Good afternoon, everybody, this is your captain speaking. We've reached our cruising altitude. Just want to give you a quick rundown of the amenities available for purchase on this flight.
 
- In a few minutes we'll be cutting off the supply of oxygen in the economy cabin. Additional oxygen can be purchased for a nickel per minute, just slip your coins into the slot in the armrest. Exact change is required. If you need change, our attendants will provide it to you, for an additional fee of $1 per nickel.

- In about an hour, we'll be flying over the Grand Canyon, and you can take a look by inserting a $5 bill in the slot beside your window. The window shade will pop up for exactly 23 seconds.

- Thirty dollars to use the restroom -- $10 a flush. And when you get back to your seat our attendants will be happy to recline it for you -- for $57. Or, for $5 they'll punch you in the head so hard you'll black out for the whole flight.

- That's about it. Now just sit back, relax and enjoy the next two hours. At that point passengers who refuse to pay our $200 completion fee will be thrown off the plane 36,000 feet above Wichita, while the rest of us continue on to New York.

- Thanks again for traveling with us. We know you have a lot of choices when flying, and  they're all bad, so shut up.

Source: Rico Gagliano US Today

Gravity always wins!

 
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