These are some of the best lines from the piece:
Arpey went on to note that some additional charges would also apply, including a $15 fee for every piece of luggage customers have inside their bedroom closet, and a one-time payment of $40 for any American whose name is Greg.
JetBlue, a commercial carrier known for its thrifty rates, has come out ahead of the pack, however, and is being lauded for its decision not to charge non-passengers not to fly.
Here at AB we're keen on reporting about ancillaries seeing as they are so important.
We've reported about rock concerts on board, and how US carriers are jumping on the ancillary bandwagon, albeit not as much as The Onion suggests!