Straight & Level 10 June

Ouse idea was that then?
Rolls-Royce is considering its branding options should its new engine projects – dubbed Advance and UltraFan – go into production. If it sticks with tradition and names them after famous British rivers, there are a few the manufacturer will probably want to avoid.
Given the engine giant’s environmental credentials, Uck and Ouse are probably non-runners. Likewise, Loud, Irk and Idle are unlikely to make any shortlist. But there has to be a wee chance at least of the River Piddle (a charming waterway in Dorset) flushing out its rivals.

What the hill…!
A press release from Air Canada to mark the debut of its Boeing 787 “invites media for a sneak peak at its first Dreamliner”. Is, we wonder, a “sneak peak” a Rocky Mountain that tiptoes up behind you?

Sum of the pax
Back to school for Australian charter services company Adagold Aviation, which hails a 23.6% year-on-year increase in the country’s charter passenger numbers to 2.38 million as representing “the equivalent of almost 5,000 A380 Airbuses at full capacity”. Great news for the industry, but faulty maths.
Assuming a full A380 takes 500 passengers, 5,000 times that number would be 2.5 million. That’s not far off the total market – but not the annual growth which, at 23.6%, would be closer to 1,250 superjumbos.
Name again
Relief throughout the former EADS after Airbus Group shareholders approved the name change. It would have been a bit of a pain to alter all those signs again.

Discreetly dead
The tricky business of what to do with passengers who pass away during a flight was tackled in a documentary on British Airways on UK TV last week.
Trainee cabin crew were given advice such as removing bodies to a crew-rest area or covering them as completely as possible with a blanket.
No-nos are moving the dead to the lavatory – they cannot be strapped in and rigor mortis can make them hard to move – and propping them up in their seats and pretending they are asleep, as one trainer admitted was once common practice. “It’s what we used to do many years ago,” she told students. “Give them a vodka and tonic, a Daily Mail and eye-shades. We don’t do that.”
An aviation PR man recalls he once was asked to keep chatting to the deceased passenger next to him so as not to distress fellow travellers – he had let slip to the cabin crew that he worked in the industry.
“Talking has never been a problem for me, although the conversation wasn’t up to much,” he says.

Search me
A final thought. If the US Army’s Airbus Helicopters UH-72A Lakota was configured for search and rescue, should it be renamed the Lokata?


British Airways has released pictures of its latest flight simulator – an Airbus A320, its 18th such training device – with photos of simulators dating back to the 1930s, including its first Boeing 747 from 1969. Despite appearances, the chaps posing on the right of the Airbus are not the same as the original pair with the jumbo.


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