Don’t break it. Don’t lose it. Don’t pawn it. Or else!

Panasonic DVD player.JPG

It’s not every day that I get a chance to write about Estonian Air, especially Estonian Air’s in-flight entertainment (IFE). So when I spotted the carrier’s statement that it is bringing portable DVD players to certain Boeing flights, I was, quite naturally, very excited (I’m still awaiting a diagnosis for this condition).

Anyhoooo, on further investigation (i.e. trolling through the Estonian web site), I discovered that the Estonia-based video rental company handling the carrier’s DVD rentals, Videoplanet, has some pretty hard and fast rules about the DVD players.

I’ve never seen demands concerning portable IFE spelled out with such, shall we say, ferocity. I’ve bolded my favorite parts.

1) Customers are allowed to use their personal ear-phones with TRS 3.5mm connector. Using a DVD-player without ear-phones is not allowed.

2) DVD-players and DVDs are rented only at a specified flight height and upon the approval of the on-board personnel.

3) Rentable DVDs are the property of Videoplanet. Rentable DVD-players are the property of Estonian Air. Unauthorized copying, selling, reproduction, hiring, lending, sharing and pawning and any transfer of the right of ownership is prohibited.

4) Customers shall have the DVDs for their private use only. According to the Copyright Act, any communication to the public, transmission or use for a charge is forbidden.

5) Customers are required not to make copies of the rented DVDs.

6) Customers are required to immediately inform Estonian Air personnel of any damage to or malfunction of the DVDs. Customers are required to keep the DVD-players as well as the DVDs in good working order. Customers are responsible for not damaging or losing the apparatus or DVDs in their care. Customers are not responsible for normal wear and tear. It is forbidden to make any notes on the DVD-players and DVDs or to remove the stickers. Customers are required to compensate for any damage to or loss of DVDs as specified below.

7) Customers are required to immediately inform Estonian Air personnel of any damage to, or malfunction of, the DVD-players or DVDs (didn’t they say this already?). In case a customer was unable to use the DVD-player or DVD due to malfunction upon renting, he or she has the right to have the DVD-player or DVD substituted with similar items without additional charge for the same period on the same flight. Videoplanet/Estonian Air shall not repay the remuneration to the customers.

8) DVD-players and DVDs shall be returned when the plane leaves the specified flight height and customers shall be duly informed by the on-board personnel.

9) Videoplanet and Estonian Air shall have the right to demand from the customer compensation for any damage he or she has caused to the DVD-player or DVD. In case the customer is responsible for the destruction of the DVD he or she is liable to compensate for the full price of the DVD which is 200 EEK. In case the customer is responsible for the destruction of the DVD-player he or she is liable to compensate for the full price of the DVD-player which is 3500 EEK (nearly $290).

10) On board Estonian Air flights discounts for Videoplanet First Client card holders do not apply.

Errr, thanks?

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9 Responses to Don’t break it. Don’t lose it. Don’t pawn it. Or else!

  1. Don Nadeau July 15, 2010 at 10:16 am #

    Seems as if you can take Estonia out of the Soviet Union, but can’t take the Soviet Union out of Estonia!

  2. Mushroom July 15, 2010 at 12:09 pm #

    So bascially they’re saying:

    1) Don’t steal it
    2) Don’t break it
    3) Don’t deface it.
    4) If something goes wrong tell us immediately so we don’t assume it was you and we don’t have to check every single one after each flight to ensure they are working

    Can someone point out what the problem is with that!?

  3. Mary Kirby July 15, 2010 at 12:20 pm #

    More of an issue with tone, Mushroom. Estonian is striking fear in the pax even before he or she rents the thing.

  4. 7K7 July 15, 2010 at 3:45 pm #

    10) Estonia Air knows where you live.
    :-D

  5. Mushroom July 16, 2010 at 6:52 am #

    Come on!!!

    “It wasn’t what you said it was the way you said it” :( :(

  6. Mary Kirby July 16, 2010 at 11:50 am #

    Delivery means a lot, especially in PR. Jiminy Christmas, this is PR 101!

  7. James Lake August 12, 2010 at 11:46 am #

    Thanks for the post, good stuff!

  8. Tegner August 25, 2010 at 3:08 am #

    However, the decisive reason why they come back for more is because the blogger is good, very good.

  9. Paulo M April 8, 2013 at 4:15 am #

    You think that might take the whole flight to go through that?

    In the CIS/former Soviet Union, my inflight recommendation is for a game of chess/sudoku – your neighbour wont mind – preferably over some водка!