Acronyms that will never be contest: Everyone wins!

Judging my “Acronyms That Will Never Be (ATWNB)” contest is hard.

I feel a little like the source selection board for the KC-X tanker contract: I know any pick I make is sure to be challenged and, perhaps, over-turned on appeal. (At least John McCain isn’t breathing down my neck – yet.)

So I’m going to do what may very well happen in the tanker competition anyway, and name everyone who participated a winner! That’s right: everybody who sent an acronym gets an F-22 cutaway poster! Yes, I’m like the Oprah of defense industry bloggers.

(Participants, please email with your mailing addresses, and you will receive your well-deserved prize in the mail.)

Here are your winners:

CRASH — Chinook Rear-Hemisphere Attack Sensor Halo (CRASH)
PUKED — Predator Unintentional Kinetic Event Detector (PUKED)
RIPOFF — Raptor Incident Prevention Override Failsafe Function (RIPOFF)
ASSHAT — Apache (or Aviation) System Simulation High Altitude Trainer (ASSHAT)
JAC ASS — Joint Air Controller Accident Survivability Simulation (JAC ASS)
ASS-M — Air to Surface Standoff Missile (ASS-M) (JASSM without the redundant “Joint”)
VIAGRA — Vertically-Initiated Aircraft for Ground Reconnaissance and Attack (VIAGRA)
PENIS — Pilotage Environmental Navigation Instrumentation System (PENIS)
OPERATION QUAGMIRE — Operation Quest to Unite All Good Meaning Iraqi Residents Enthusiastically
MONGOLOID — Main Outer Navigationally Guided Operational Laser Onboard Identification friend -or- foe Designator (MONGOLOID)
BULLSHIT — Bomb Unit for Low-Level Surface HIT
PISS-OFF — Penetrating Intelligence Sub-System for Stand-OFF
COWDUNG — Common Operational Warning Display Unit – New Generation
BUDWEIS-ER — Buried Underground Digital Warfare-Enabled Integrated System – Extended Range

One Response to Acronyms that will never be contest: Everyone wins!

  1. yasotay 18 August, 2007 at 7:36 pm #


    Think this is the first time I won anything.

    e-mail above.


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