Contest: Military aircraft acronyms that will never be

Trying something new on the blog today: a contest!

The prize is one of Flight’s famous cutaway posters of the Lockheed Martin F-22.

l’ll give everybody a week. The challenge: come up with a military aircraft acronym that makes sense, but could never actually exist. I’ll give you two examples.

1) Ever heard of the Hornet Industry Team (HIT), which makes the F/A-18? The acronym that will never exist: the Super Hornet Industry Team (er, get it?).

2) Have you also heard of the Hornet Autonomous Real-time Targeting (HART) system, also an F/A-18-based project? The acronym that will never exist: the Falcon Autonomous Real-time Targeting system, with thanks to The Woracle for coming up with that one.

The prize winner will be announced next Thursday at 2 pm. The prize can be mailed or delivered in person, if you’re local to the Washington DC area. If you prefer to make anonymous suggestions, please email me at

Let the contest begin!

[UPDATE: The first (anonymous) submittals have arrived, and RIPOFF has taken the early lead! Here's the list:

Chinook Rear-Hemisphere Attack Sensor Halo (CRASH)

Predator Unintentional Kinetic Event Detector (PUKED)

Raptor Incident Prevention Override Failsafe Function (RIPOFF) (used by LMCO staffers to keep execs out of trouble with GAO)

Apache (or Aviation) System Simulation High Altitude Trainer (ASSHAT)

Joint Air Controller Accident Survivability Simulation (JAC ASS)

Keep them coming!]

7 Responses to Contest: Military aircraft acronyms that will never be

  1. yasotay 9 August, 2007 at 6:35 pm #

    Pilotage Environmental Navigation Instrumentation System…. dare I say what part of the aircraft it would be located in.

  2. Stephen Trimble 9 August, 2007 at 6:41 pm #

    Surely, not the brains of the aircraft.

  3. The DEW Line 9 August, 2007 at 6:43 pm #

    From Anonymous-2:

    Here is a contribution for your contest. It relates to the Marine Corps aircraft – the Harrier “jump jet,” which most people don’t know is more formally referred to as a, “Vertically-Initiated Aircraft for Ground Reconnaissance and Attack.” Yup, you got it: “VIAGRA.” (WARNING: If you experience a flight lasting more than four hours, call your flight surgeon immediately.)

  4. Anon-3 13 August, 2007 at 3:51 pm #

    Tornado Off-Set Satellite Positioning Orientation Technology (TO-SSPOT)

  5. Don 20 August, 2007 at 10:14 am #

    How about the C-17 loadmaster “train the trainer” course offered by the principal contractor – the Boeing Utility Load Level System Highlights Instructor Training program, commonly referred to as BULLSHIT. I know I’ve had several BULLSHIT training sessions, and I think we will always be running airmen through BULLSHIT training.

  6. The DEW Line 20 August, 2007 at 2:51 pm #

    This sounds too good to be true. But that means maybe it is! Don, you wouldn’t happen to have any evidence that this course really exists, would you?

  7. Jeff Dulin 4 May, 2008 at 4:38 am #

    I just retired from General Motors where we were blessed with a J.I.T. production assembly line supply system.

    It received several “modifications” as things went astray from time to time. Among them were: Shipped Here In Time program and when things simply came up missing, the Longistical Oversight Security Team was called in.

    I was always amazed when I saw those nice new SUV’s drive out the back door. But they did.


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