Let’s name more weapons after religious holidays

Is Iran’s unveiling of a 2,000km range ballistic missile on Tuesday merely a new salvo in the mideast (er, what’s the opposite of peace?) war process, or is it the start of a new fad for naming weapons?

Iran named its new missile the “Ashura”, which is presumably a reference to the “Day of Ashura”, one of Shiite Islam’s holiest days commemorating the martyrdom of the grandson of Muhammad at the Battle of Karbala in 680 AD 680, or so says Wikipedia.

I like the idea of naming weapons after religious holidays. Very ironic in a Quentin Tarantino/Pulp Fiction sort of way.

So I’ve even come up with my own ideas for renaming some US weapons. Here goes:

1. Rename JASSM the “St. Patrick’s Missile”: commemorating JASSM’s former habit of veering wildly off course, like some drunken crowd spilling out of a New York pub on March 17.

2. Change cluster bombs to Christmas bombs — like the gifts in Santa’s bag? (Okay, maybe that one’s a stretch)

3. Rename Israel’s Arrow missile interceptor the “Yom Kippur” missile.

Any others? I’m sure there are some religions I haven’t offended yet. I’ll give a prize to the first person who can think of a legitimate reason to rename a weapon after Kwanzaa.

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2 Responses to Let’s name more weapons after religious holidays

  1. Stephen Trimble 27 November, 2007 at 5:57 pm #

    We have a winner!

  2. Minute Man 28 November, 2007 at 4:10 pm #

    How about the Easter Tomahawk? You start with a regular nuclear bomb. But you ignore the Pilate and take the warhead away to be “cruisified”.

    I’m so going to hell for this.

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