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Aviation History
1916
1916 - 0313.PDF
APRIL 13. '9i6' (/TIGHT ill&lf* . j 1 HAVE no patience with the stranger in the train who would make me his chum, forcing upon me his con fidences and his opinions. It pleases me to sit sulkily in my corner, reading my own paper, forming my own ideas, not wishing to know what strangers think of things. I cannot sport my oak in the train. Others have the right and liberty to enter, yet I look upon that corner seat, when I have obtained it, as my private property, to have and to enjoy, without let or hindrance, until it shall please me to majestically throw open the door and step out, leaving others to close it or not, as they will. Should the seat be vacant when the up-train reaches my home station, I step to it in regal fashion. I feel that it is reserved for my special enjoyment. Should there be an occupant trying to ape me in his fancied seclusion, I glare at him as I unwillingly seat myself between others, trying if possible not to make contact with either, for I am an Englishman with all an English man's stupid objection to sitting in a public place with the public. I object to the man in the opposite corner handing his paper over to me the while he points to some paragraph with his finger, nodding and beaming round on the other people as though seeking their approval and exclamations, conveying by the twitching of his fingers, and his appear ance of unrest that he will show it to them all in turn. 1 see his getting ready the raising of the eyebrows and the rounding of the eyes, expressing benefits conferred, and which must surely surprise, as he prepares to take back his paper before I have made it evident by the direction of my eyes that I have reached the last line, • ven though I have skipped five lines from every six in the reading, having just read the same thing in my own paper. Politeness demands that I shall look pleased, or dis pleased, or surprised as I hand him back his paper. 1'oliteness demands that I mumble "Fancy," or "Dear me," or something appropriate to the impression he has imagined his paragraph would make upon my under- handing, and politeness demands that I hold my own paper high to cover my face in order that he shall not see reflected there my true opinion of one so utterly devoid >f tact and good breeding as to dare to speak to a fellow •uraan beiqg, a passenger with himself in a public vehicle. I am in especial trouble following a Zeppelin raid, for then it is, by being an unwilling listener, I learn all those things I did not know before. Embryo Air Ministers there are by the score; they 'ravel up to town every morning by trains arriving at any me of the numerous termini not before nine forty-five, and any one of them by his own showing is capable of 'aking on the job; their aviatic knowledge is colossal, 'hey always knew beforehand that Zeps. were coming, >n nights on which they come. When they do come, they always pass directly over their particular house. Never by any chance would they admit that they did not see one ; always if they had had a rifle they could have brought it down themselves. The R.F.C., the R.N.A.S., the A.A.C. and everything appertaining to them, and to flying, are bandied about the carriage in the most reckless manner. I can learn more about the things that do and do not take place in the Flying Services in half-an-hour's ride in the morning train than I could gather by years of study. The Zep. which paid us a visit on Sunday week must be the latest thing in Zeps., for it can dart and dash about in a manner reminiscent of the elusive tiddler of boy hood's days. It's not a bit of use trying to burst shrapnel near it, for though hovering, it can suddenly dart forward or sideways to avoid them. Many of my fellow tr.i v<•:: can vouch for this—they said so, I often try to remember what these people talked about before the war, but I cannot. That they talked about something of which they knew all there was to know, I have no doubt. One unfortunate word uttered in an unfortunate place—such word as, for instance, " Fokker fodder "—and they will gabble the roof off the carriage. Once a fellow traveller who knew a little about myself, but not quite enough, placed me in a very uncomfortable position by calling upon me in my corner to settle an argument on flying, saying thai I was the Editor of "FLIGHT." I shall never forget the look of reverence bestowed upon me by all the other travellers, nor my own embarrassment. I could not very well deny it to the undoing of one who evidently knew me so well, because the informal introduction was carried with such a high hand (as becomes everything these " knowalls " do) that it swept me off my feet. I never rode in that carriage again, and if ever my unwanted friend seeks me out in my retreat, I'll travel in the guard's van. I have always thought it must be very nice to be in editor. I have thought that I could fill the chair very well, and use up dozens of blue pencils. I have seen them at " Press " dinners and luncheons, and they have always looked such well-groomed, jolly men, with little to do and plenty to get, as Serjeant Buzfuz said, that I could not account for that worried look and ruffled hair aspect so prevalent in the office as press day draws nigh, and fellows WILL NOT bring their copy down. Yet when I remember that year in and year out the journal goes to press at a certain minute on a certain day in the week, all made up with good stuff, not a bit too little and not a bit too much, I realise that there is reason for it. Also I realise that after all perhaps editors are much as other men are, and want to leave their office behind when they travel by train. If I were the editor, and it got known on my line, I would travel with the women. They talk till the pictures curl up if they know one another, but let them be strangers, and they surround themselves with an icy, Harveyised steel casing im pregnable to others.
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