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Aviation History
1916
1916 - 0397.PDF
MAY IT, *9i6- WHAT a wonderful thing is an Act of Parliament. All my life I have been thinking about getting up earlier in the morning, and have been able to manage it only on very rare occasions. I leave out of account those times when I have had to rise early to catch trains, and think only of those when I have risen early solely to be able to lord it over those sluggards rising at reasonable times. For what is the use of rising early if everybody does the same ? All the glory in rising early is contained in being able to enquire politely what time others were up and doing. Now, I suppose I shall not only have to rise an hour earlier than I have been in the habit of doing, without the chance to boast of it, but I shan't even be aware of it myself. By Act of Parliament, if the Bill passes, I shall have to put my clocks on an hour, and try to forget it. This may work very nicely in the mornings, but I doubt very much whether I am going to seek my bed at eleven at night when I know quite well the clock is lying to me, and shall still burn the midnight oil, the real midnight oil, when it becomes the question of an interesting book. Nor shall the call from the regions above shame me when it asks whether I know the time, for I shall answer truthfully that it isn't. , All I can see in it is that I shall get six or seven hours work a week out of myself in excess of that which I now do. I don't suppose that will do me any harm, for I am an awful slacker. I have no doubt I shall readily fall into the custom of leaving the office an hour earlier in the evening, but so be that I am a bit late in the morn ing, I shall have to drive myself with a tight rein that I do not start to argue the point as to real time and imaginary time. . *., After all, there is nothing in time, really. I should like to impress this upon those pilot-instructors who rise now somewhere round about three A.M. 1 will be a great solace to them if they can only make up their minds that when they rise at three, it isnt really three, but two. • Especially will this be the case when they also remember that time does not enter into their finishing time, which is governed by daylight, i can imagine them having a right merry time. 1 sliouia not be surprised if after having sampled the new clocking, they come to the conclusion lhat there is something alter all in the old axiom that "Time is time,' with a goodly chunk over as makeweight. The new Bill, if it comes to pass, will not attect me personally so very much. I like to feel that I am economising in war time, and they tell me that this is tor economy's sake. I don't quite see where it comes in myself, but that does not matter. 1 am doing something to help on the war, and that is sufficient. ( Some people like being governed : I don t. so i going to start my early rising to-morrow morning oi my own free will, before I have to. I am "^ q"Ue sure whether there is such a thing as free will, but 1 am quite sure my early rising to-morrow is going to create a rumpus. Women are so inconsiderate, and there is sure to be some passage of arms about " rousing the whole household at unreasonable hours." That is simply be- cause I shall do it voluntarily. Next week when it is vouched for by the clock that the hour is reasonable, it will be all right. Women don't know anything about clocks. I never knew a woman yet who knew for certain whether to put the regulator over to • F " or " S " when a clock gains, and when it comes to " V * and " R "— well! It is almost as great a mystery to them as the knowledge of whether a gas-cock should be turned across the pipe or following its direction, to shut the gas off. Or that screws can only be driven in by turning them one way. Or that cards are dealt round in the same direction. Or anything but that man is a confounded nuisance to be getting up so early in the morning, disturb ing everybody, and that the maid will give notice, " and I don't wonder at it," and maids are so hard to get just now. But I shall enjoy it, because I shall have such little time to do it voluntarily: next week 1 shall be acting under orders. I have no doubt I shall make enough noise to " waken the neighbourhood," and that 1 shall over-feed the fowls, and do all sorts of wrong things. Women have got a way of saying "Ah!" with, oh such a wealth of expression behind it, when they come out top dog in anything, and now I come to think about it, I am not quite sure whether I should be able to escape that awful word, should I rise early to-morrow. It has just struck me that as the kitchen fire will not be alight, there won't be that little drop of hot water to put in my bath without letting anybody know. Then there is shaving water to be considered. I can't reasonably be expected to go down and get that for myself: besides, I don't know what they heat it in. I hate having to cook my own breakfast, to say nothing of the fact that I can't mess about with porridge, and eggs, and bacon, and toast, while, furthermore, I don't know what they cook it in, or even where they keep it. Even though I were to manage it all right (and make no mistake, I could if I wanted to, Ah !) it would take up quite the hour I had hoped to gain. Women can lay a good breakfast in next to no time, but then it is their work, and nothing to strut around about. I might get up and go out for a walk, only I don't know where they keep the boot-brushes, and, anyway, I hate cleaning boots. Perhaps after all I'll wait and see. The Bill might not pass, and I don't want to do anything to show how independent we men are of women when there is no occasion for it. When the clock is put on by Act of Parliament, they won't know anything is wrong. I'd try putting it on secretly to night, but if I do, they'll bundle me off to the office too early. Anyway, I'm glad I'm not a pilot-instructor. Poor pilot-instructors. 397
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