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Aviation History
1916
1916 - 1117.PDF
S to the origin of all that is herein set forth. Members of the Peace On Earth Propagation Society one morning received a card of which the following is a facsimile :— P.O.E.P.S. An extraordinary general meeting will be held at headquarters on the 5th inst., at 8 p.m. with the President in attend ance, to introduce Ebeneezer Erskine, B.Sc, who will explain his wonderful discovery. All are earnestly requested to attend, as some hitherto unexpected develop ments may occur. IMA. B. ARMIE, Hon. Sec. Consequently the night of November the fifth found a full attendance of woolgatherers, with the chairman recounting the aims and objects of the society. His concluding words were :—" And now, ladies and gentlemen, permit me to introduce Professor Ebeneezer Erskine, who will lay before you the results of his patient and learned investigations, together with a proposition which I shall presently ask you to vote for unanimously." Now it appears that Ebeneezer had a propensity for meddling, and was no advocate of " every man to his own job," the direct consequences of which were that he had produced some wonderful powder with which he was proposing to dope the Huns and bring about peace before the people at Westminster had got time to read the Daily Mail and form their plans. This powder, he informed them, had for its basis the Laughing Plant of Sardinia, known to botanists as Sardonica herba, with a few other ingredients thrown in to modify its virulent power. Its effects, according to Ebeneezer, were that any breathing creature inhaling even the faint aroma of musk which it gave off, would become instantly so happy and peace loving, that used on a large scale war would have to cease. His plan was to send a large bag of the stuff over from London by aeroplane, to be sprinkled over the Germany army, when, he seemed to confidently expect, the Prussian Guard would want to come over and play cat's cradle in the British trenches. What the Professor had not discovered (had he done so this story could not have been written) was, that this effect was brought abuut by a total reversal of temperament, and that it was not beneficial to ordinary mortals to monkey around anywhere near it. That was the fly in the ointment, and this is the story of what happened. The night was dark as any night could be, when a private aeroplane with the bag hanging between the chassis struts rose from the ground in North London, and took the air on its long journey. Suspended at the centre of gravity, the bag made little difference to the handling'of the machine, although the pilot could feci the weight. Thus it was, that when that weight was suddenly removed when over the very centre of London, the pilot made a right about turn for the starting place. Here he found that a chassis wire had snaped and ripped the canvas bag clean through. And so London had become doped with Sardonica herba and a few other things thrown in. First fruits were to the sowers, for the aeroplane in returning had scattered a fair amount of tin- mixture over tin- I'. . • Society, who were just preparing to return home. The effect was that a free fight was soon in progress, with poor Ebeneezer, B.Sc., as the chief objective. Police were quickly on the scene, but instead of quelling the riot, they stood around convulsed with laughter, and even aided and abetted to the extent of lending their truncheons to the combatants. Some aerodrome mechanics, not far distant, who in the evening had offered up their usual prayer for "bags of rain " in the morning, now arose hours liefore their ordered time, and would insist on going up to the sheds to prepare their machines. Their good intentions were cut short, however, by an orderly from H.Q. who presented the C.O.'s compliments, and would the mechanics lie in till ten, and then honour the officers' mess with their presence at breakfast. At the civilian schools, the pupils all turned up before time, and the instructors did not materialise at all. Moreover, quite a sporting element was lent to the morning's work by the schopl proprietors taking the air themselves, and offering /ioo to all pupils who would do likewise, with a bonus to the one smashing the most machines before breakfast. Quite early a great procession of aeroplane constructors were on their way down Edgware Road, as a deputation to When the weight was suddenly removed, S>5^ ^3 19
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