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Aviation History
1918
1918 - 0575.PDF
MAY 23, igi8. puts me completely in the shade, but when I know that he is coming for a walk I change my mind, and-watch the football in- stead. As I have said before, the walk starts officially at 2 o'clock, and five minutes before that time, those of us who have not quite forgotten that we were once in the Army, begin to collect under the clock. We pass pleasant remarks to the " muddied oafs " on their way to play football, and we make imaginary mashie shots with our walking sticks. At two o'clock someone says, " Is there anyone else coming ?' but this query fails to get a reply. A minute or two later someone else says," Shall we go now ? " This also fails to elicit a response, and we take to golf again, until at last someone with more initiative, a man who it is easy to see is a born leader of men, says, " Come on, let's go." and sets off, followed by the remainder, until we reach the outside of the Chapel, about twenty yards away, when there is another halt until our escort arrives. He bows, collects our parole cards, counts the cards, and us, and finds he is one card short. A remark that we are playing without the joker evokes a hollow titter. He then counts us again, still finds he is one card short, and then some officer, who has been wandering about in a state of semi-coma, discovers that he has not given up his card. At last we are ready, and off we go across that wonderful courtyard, with the beautiful fountain in the centre, in through the swing doors, round to the left, and then to the right, into the entrance hall. Here the feld-webel disappears into a place called the " Wach-Stube," or Watch Room, familiarly termed the " wash-tub," by one of our funny ones, and again there is a check, but this time there is plenty to occupy our attention. Some of us look at the portrait of the Kaiser, which is hung there, whilst others scan the chromo-lithograph of German decorations, and some, I shall not mention any names though, admire themselves in the big looking-glass. After five minutes or so our escort returns, counts us once more for luck, and then we are really out in the street at last. Now comes the really serious problem which way shall we go ? To the right, which leads to the town, and the " Sweet Young Things," or to the left, which leads to the hills. I may honestly tell you which way I want to go ; I want to go to the right. After a tremendous argument, three or four start on in opposite directions, but immediately the feld-webel starts talking rapidly in German, and though no one under- stands a word of what he is saying, we know that we must all go together, and I am sorry to say the party to the right is always the weaker, and so off we go to the left and my walk is spoiled at the very start. I take up my position in rear, which I have discovered is the best strategical point. Having at last got properly under way, the fellows in front endeavour to make up for lost time by setting off at a tremendous pace, which causes me to break into a jog-trot, which increases my rage, until we cross the river, pass the " Bahnhof" and turn to the right, when I begin to recover my normal demeanour, as this way leads to the town. But what is my horror, when I see the leaders turn to the left, and make for those terrible hills. However, there is no remedy and I must perforce follow, muttering and cursing the while, until I reach the top, where I fling myself down, absolutely " done to the wide." The next ten minutes I pass in trying to regain my breath, whilst the young " fliers," who only seem really happy when they are up a height, discuss the possibility of " dropping eggs," below. I presume they are thinking of taking up poultry farming after the war. On starting again I feel better, as surely the road here must be downhill, but, oh, no ! these youngsters are not satisfied yet. They must find another hill, and when I feign a bad foot and commence to limp saying I can go no further, 1 get no sympathy, while on one occasion the feld-webel playfully drew his sword. This was not an example of German Militarism, but only a friendly way of telling me that he had " rumbled " me. However, everything comes to the man who waits, and finally we reach the town again and my hopes rise. We recross the river and just as we should turn round to the left, where there is a certain house that I " wot " of, where there is always someone who smiles at us. The feld-webel decides that it is late, and that we must go to the right, so once again I am foiled ; my cup is full and not even the little girl, aged about eleven years, who smiles up into my face and says " Choklat " can please me. Eventually we reach the lager, and with a sigh of relief I swear by all the gods that never again will I go for a walk—until to-morrow. Apropos the much discussed delay in the supply of aero- planes from the U.S., a tribute of promising results was on Monday forthcoming from Mr. W. C. Redfield, Secretary of4Commerce in the American Government, when speaking at the Canadian Club at Ottawa. There were critics, he said, who related stories of failure. He asked the countryriot to'worry about the reported failure of the American aeroplane factories. He saw one factory recently wherethe raw material was going in at one end and the finished product coming out at the other. Some hustle, and reminiscent of Ford car organisation. A FURTHER item of considered American organisation also carries with it food for reflection. President Wilson's first act after signing the " Overman " Bill, which provides for the re-arrangement and co-ordination of war activities, so the news runs, was to establish a separate organisation for aircraft production under the direction of Mr. John D. Ryan. Aircraft production will thus be taken entirely out of the hands of the military authorities. AVIATION should easily score another " record "—hardly an enviable one, this time—in the half million fiasco of the projected aerial gunnery school at Loch Doon. According to the report of the Select Committee on National Expendi- ture by reason of this episode in connection with Loch Doon, " its name will be remembered as the scene of one of the most striking instances of wasted expenditure that our records show." SMARTNESS can hardly surpass the happy inspiration of a South London newsagent on Tuesday last, who on his chalked " Contents " board had displayed : " Shakespeare up to date. 'Down to hell and say we sent you there.' Seven Gothas down." THE way of the transgressor is hard in France. If Alphonse, feeling the urge of spring, picks up the baby Peugeot and runs Celestine out to the Bois Meudon on it, an irate sergeant of the town is liable to stop him, and peer into the petrol tank. Spirit the use of which is authorised by the Government is coloured an aesthetic shade of pink, and woe to the adventurer if his juice is limpidly white ! But we seem to have heard of an interesting insect called " Coc- cus." Seventy thousand of him will make a pound of cochineal, and that would colour—how much petrol ? A " CERTAIN liveliness " is noticeable in the American papers now, due to the big Liberty Loan drive. If brevity is indeed the soul of wit, these terse little phrases should rank highly :—" BONDS OR BONDAGE," says one ; " A GOOD BUY FOR You—A GOOD-BY FOR THE KAISER " ; and again, in flaring type that stuns the retina—" COME ACROSS, OR THE KAISER WILL ! " HORNY-HANDED son of toil, to his mate, as the ZZ-Q 99, all golden in the suri, cruises over Trafalgar Square : " There y'are, Bill, there goes my War Bond ! " THE American way with the pro-Boche is marked by a certain decision. At Salt Lake City the other day a gentleman named Otto Rauschenburg was injudicious enough to utter strongly anti- Ally sentiments. A couple of resourceful and broad-minded citizens promptly deposited him in a flour-bin that yawned nearby, and producing two -38's, proceeded to shoot at his feet. The alien mind found these arguments convincing, and speedily recanted. ONE of the members of the famous Lafayette Squadron tells an amusing story about Raoul Lufbery's exhibition flights in French Indo-China before the war. The natives, who, naturally, had never seen a flying machine before, were moved to construct one for themselves. Clever Asiatic workmen, with bamboo sticks and strips of paper, ran up an aeroplane which, as far as looks went, gave points to the Western production. The Chinese " opposite numbers " of the A.I.D. had literally covered it with decora- tive script, to add to its potency. In place of the motor, they imprisoned in their machine a swarm of bees, which, stimulated by their close quarters, gave a very creditable imitation of a Gnome at high speed. To the disgust of the erectors, the machine refused to budge. As an incitement to soldiers who might otherwise be tempted to abbreviate their names on applications for official war risk insurance, the American Government announces that the army has more than 100,000 Smiths, of whom 1,500 are William Smiths, 1,000 are John Smiths, and 200 John A. Smiths. There are 1,000 John Browns, 1,200 John Johnsons, and 1,040 George Millers. At present they are not all in the Flying Corps. Moreover (oh Erin'!) there are 262 John J. O'Briens, "of whom 50 have wives named Mary." 573
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