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Aviation History
1962
1962 - 0244.PDF
246 FLIGHT International, 15 February J 96. (T) Straight and Leve I © STATE-airporiofficiousness, which is fast becoming a sort of abstract art-form, reached perfection when, last week Lord Brabazon was not allowed to use the VIP lounge named after him at London Heathrow. Typically, he was entirely un- pompous about the incident. "It seems I don't qualify," he said. It is now only a matter of time before the public is banned from all the airport's public buildings, cars are turned away from the car parks, and all airliners and airline personnel are evicted from the airport. Ministry officials and the airport manage ment will then be able to get on with their official business without any tiresome dis tractions of any kind. Stop Press: Seriously, I am glad to say that the airport management subsequently made full amends to Lord Brabazon. • The picture of the black swans of 103 Sqn (page 227 Flight International last week) has prompted me to inaugurate Bacon's Pets' Corner. On the left of the pictures below we have Pat the pelican, attending a dining-out of officers leaving the RAF Central Flying School at Little Rissington. Air Cdr H. P. Connolly, the Commandant, is serving the fish course. A pelican is symbolized in CFS's crest. At right we have Fred of 88 Sqn. Fred is no creep. He is, in fact, a 5ft-long Italian rock snake, yellow brown and very friendly —unlike the official mascot represented in the squadron's crest, "a vicious snake poised to strike." When this picture was taken two or three years ago Fred had logged 15hr, in Canberras. He now has 30hr. Pet's Corner No. 2: see second item in column one • According to a usually reliable source, a gigantic new industrial complex known as BRUISCAB is to be formed, by the merger of British Railways, British United Air ways, Silver City, Imperial Chemical Indus tries, Courtaulds and Channel Air Bridge. The full name of BRUISCAB is British Railways' United Imperial Silver Channel Air Bridge, and its function will be to oper ate a network of cross-Channel hovercraft services over a series of Channel bridges constructed of man-made fibres to with stand the impact of ships in bad visibility. To Whom it may Concern • TSR.2 and SST—these symbolize Britain's aspirations in two contrasting fields of aeronautical endeavour. It is my belief that the characteristics of these notable aircraft have been too long withheld from the public and, while regret ting any embarrassment to "security," I have every intention of printing pictures of both next week. • Safety, economy, comfort—I was sure that my old friend Sir Charles Boost, prince of British air power and fount of all prestige, would have some forthright things to say on these aspects of air transport. When I called on him in his Mayfair office last week he had just finished posing for Straight and Level International's por trait photographer. "Come in, laddie," he boomed from inside the variable-geometry cybernetic space capsule mock-up under his desk. "Have a drink." Sir Charles [I began], what are your views about airline safety standards today? Pet's Corner No I: Her name is Sherry Lange. and she is a National Airlines jet stewardess. She lives in Miami Beach, and her favourite pastime is wrestling alligators Safety, old boy ? [Sir Charles replied] .Well. for a start, hold all accident investigations in secret and never—never, I tell you— publish the findings. The most dangerous thing in air transport is to talk about safety. You journalist nits make a note of that, eh ? Have another drink. What we need is aero planes that land fast and burn up. Next0 What are your views on economy, Sir Charles ? You mean cost per seat-fiddlestick and all that? I would say treble fares, replace fleets completely every six months, eliminate depreciation and interest charges, and get into pool with BOAC or BEA. And what about comfort, Sir Charles ? Try one of these space capsules, laddie, they're absolutely marvellous. Z-z-z-z-z. You mean in the airline business? Well, install just one sumptuous armchair in each airliner, add a footstool, TV and a set of bound volumes of Flight, put the servants in the west wing—and you have a completely satisfied customer and a 100 per cent load factor. Now if you'll excuse me . . . • "What America needs," writes Mr Wayne Parrish of American Aviation Publi cations Inc., "is a Ministry of Aviation." All right, let the Americans have it—let them dismantle Shell-Mex House and re- erect it, stone by stone, in Washington. We'd miss the dear old Ministry; but it could do a useful job over there—like granting BOAC unlimited US traffic rights, suspending the operations of TWA and Pan American, and so on. A good idea, Mr Parrish; but do you really think the Civil Aeronautics Board would allow it? ROGER BACON
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