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Aviation History
1991
1991 - 0099.PDF
STRAIGHTS LEVEL r^'«frzr%$%& "I'll bet you her tights aren't made..." ("Mrs Dorothy Hagene, who has organised the first aviation school in the United States devoted to teaching girls and women how to fly, at the Curtis Airport, St Louis...'A lesson would cost about the same as two pairs of stockings,' says Mrs Hagene..." in July 1939 — and would her "bright silver plane" be a Luscombe Fifty?) TOTAL AVIATION CORRECTION When is a Short "C" class not? When it's S.21 Maia, which became an honor ary "C" Class after it shed its Mercury, (and after somebody confused your Uncle Roger by writing "Short C Class" on the back of the pic used in his Christmas Quiz). All those who spotted the error may add two points to their totals.... • "...the plane entered a heavy snowflake and sud denly quivered from a se vere electric strike. A fire ball burst through the air craft skin into the second salon, slowly flew over the scared passengers' heads and then left the aircraft as unexpectedly as it had en tered it. Specialists on land established that the light ning melted a gas-dis charge on the left wing....," it says here.* Just remember that, in the middle of this northern- hemisphere winter, as you pilot your Scruggs Megajet down an 1LS path to yet another blizzard-ridden blind landing: avoid hit ting snowflakes — you never know what they've got in them.... *TASS newsletter United otaies. He will be flying solo in a helium ballroom 20 metres in diameter. AP Gulf Daily News, Bahrain, 29 November, 1990 0 "...including long, over- water flights where its third engine adds an extra degree of comfort," it says here.* Self-loading Cargo: "There was I thinking that the Mega Triplejet was a jolly good airliner because its third engine made it a safer bet than big twins, and it could fly over bits of water that they couldn't, so I'd get there quicker. They didn't say anything about it being more comfortable..." Douglas McBoffin: "Aaah, yes, well, you see, I sup pose it's because the third engine acts as a sort of mass damper, so it cancels out the third-order oscilla tions set up in the primary structure by the flexing of the main spar in reaction to low-frequency inputs from the automated flight- control system..." S-L Cargo: "You don't s'pose they just mean you feel more comforted be cause of the extra safety of the third engine, do you?" *MD-11 ad UNCLE ROGER'S NEW YEAR ATC QUIZ Q What do you say to the airliner nosewheel which arrives unaccompanied on the apron and parks itself at the correct stand? A "This is Triple-leg Inter national Tower: do you need airstairs or a jack —and where have you left your aeroplane?" •Archibald User-Watch dog: "It's disgraceful. They're cramped and dreary, they provide inade quate flight information, have unreasonably expen sive duty-free goods and sky-high food prices. They're exploiting a cap tive audience." J Burlington Widebody: "I resent that. We airlines are trying really hard to im prove conditions on our aircraft, while still making a profit for our share holders. You must try and understand our difficulties instead of just criticising us." Watchdog: "I'm not talk ing about you — I'm talk ing about the airports..." SCUNTHORPE III AGREEMENT Historic new bi-lateral air services and slots agree ment in full: 1 Any airline may fly between London Heathwick- sted and Pitcairn International on fifth Sundays in April; 2 Any airline can operate return flights from Pitcairn International to London Heathwicksted on fifth Sundays in November; 3 Any US airline can operate transatlantic services to or from Heathwicksted as long as it can trace its direct lineage back to Charles Lindbergh, it has been operating transatlantic services since 1930 without a break, its chairman has declared Chapter 11 bankruptcy at least twice since 1976, it promises not to use any aircraft larger than a Beech 18, and it picks up no passengers from any airfield with a passenger terminal or long-term parking slots for more than three cars; 4 Any British airline can operate any transatlantic services it wants to from any airport to any airport as long as it buys at least 50% of every airline it wants to compete with, notwithstanding that it may not buy more than 5% of any airline based on the US mainland, or belonging to a US national, or owning any aircraft bigger than a Cessna 152; 5 All future negotiations will be held on wet Saturdays in January at Mrs Boggins' Olde Englishe Tearooms and Leather Shoppe, Scunthorpe High Street, and all negotiators must promise to buy at least two sticky buns each at every session; 6 This agreement will last until 2045 (or a quarter to nine in England). MEW BRITISH STANDARD OH 14 December 1990 WOVEN HKLOH HARROW FABRICS publication of BS 3F 12 3: 1990 SEecjjticatian-ter "...to BS 3F 123: 1990..." Air hostess Marne Davis at roll-out of Concorde 001, Toulouse, 11 December, 1967 FLIGHT INTERNATIONAL 9 - 15 January, 1991 37
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