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Aviation History
1993
1993 - 0042.PDF
STRAIGHT m LEVEL The ICAO/IATA/NATO/UN/DISNEY/ROGERCASTS team prognosticates over the outlook for 1993 (A team led by Sir Miles Thomas examines runway deterioration at Livingstone in [then] Rhodesia, 1949) JANUARY: A would-be traveller pays full fare for a coach-class ticket from Little Rock to Washington DC. Wall Street stocks surge. The FBI arrests the traveller on charges of try ing to disrupt the econ omy, but releases him when it is disclosed that he is the new Secretary of State for Transportation. The new US national-flag- carrier colour for tails is white. FEBRUARY: Volker Riihe is appointed head of German ATC services. He threatens to pull out of Eurocontrol unless all the radars are replaced by chaps with binoculars sitting in bio degradable listening posts. The plan is abandoned after the rest of Europe agrees to the new name "Eurocontrol 1927" and previously compulsory cu cumber sandwiches are made optional at board meetings. MARCH: The Belgian Gov ernment falls after it is revealed that the air force has used almost two litres of Avtur in the last three months. The chief of the air staff claims that the fuel was needed to keep his troops' (Fl Lt "Pom" 1 AAHH... ENGLISH The las( three working English Electric Lightning F.6s ("F" for fuel, "6" for six minutes' worth) made their last flight from BAe's Warton airfield on 16 December. They've been used as targets for the Tornado F.3 radar-development programme: pity they weren't al lowed a chance to use a Tornado or two as gunnery targets in return, some might say. That's the end of UK single-seat fighters until the Eurofighter 2000... Frites) teapot warm. Sev enteen GA airfields in Brit ain are turned into supermarket car-parks. APRIL: After a searching review of NATO heli copter requirements, France, Germany, Italy, Spain, the Netherlands, the UK, the USA and Rockall agree to merge the NH90, EH101 and RAH- 66 programmes. Orders for seven production ex amples of the resulting single-seat heavy-lift long- range anti-tank ASW chopper (christened LAST HURRAH) are later cancelled when it is re vealed that the $300- million aircraft uses environmentally unsound wheel-bearing grease. A national holiday is de clared in the USA after a piston-single is sold. MAY: Six American air lines enter Chapter 11 after one of them guaran tees to match the cost-per- mile of walking. The others follow, without re alising that people these days wear shoes. The USAF cancels plans to build the F-22 itself when it discovers that the little tubes of glue are missing from the kitsets. JUNE: The Paris airshow opens three days late, after security guards admit that the person to whom they have been refusing admis sion for that time, because his VIP pass has a little red dot in the bottom right- hand corner, is the French President. The red dot is revealed to be tomato ketchup, from Tuesday night's American Embassy dinner. Taiwan announces an alliance with Pitcairn Island Aerospace. JULY: A full-scale emer gency is declared at Lich- tenstein Airport when 17 American airlines attempt to take up their new "open skies" entitlements at once. The inaugural Air Lich flight to Dry Gulch International is refused permission to land be cause more than 49% of the salami used in the first-class hors d'oeuvres is of non-US origin. The mis sion of the B-2 is to take part in the flour-bombing competition at Oshkosh. AUGUST: While Europe is closed for the summer hols, Taiwan Aerospace makes a take-over bid for the whole of its aerospace industry, which is ac cepted by the bloke who's fixing the light switches in Brussels. He starts a frites stall in Antwerp on the proceeds. The 277th meet ing of the MD-12 redesign committee comes up with a new proposal for a trans continental twin with sleeping accommodation: it is to be christened DC-3. SEPTEMBER: The Royal Navy revises the produc tion order for its EH101 Merlin. The serial number will be 001. The order is conditional on minor de sign changes — mainly a switch to tandem rotors and twin engines. It is announced that the 1994 German airshow will be held at a new venue: Fahrnburg. OCTOBER: The three major airliner manufacturers an nounce a new round of order deferrals, cancella tions and production re structuring. From now on, it will be Boeing's turn to build something on Mon days. Airbus will have al ternate Tuesdays and the fourth Friday of each month, and McDonnell Douglas Wednesdays. Gulfstream announces the GVI long-range business man's airliner: it has four engines, 40 seats and is named Comet. NOVEMBER: The British MoD announces its selec tion of an attack heli copter: it is the Wallis autgoyro, complete with "James Bond" accoutre ments. As befits a British design, the Little Nellie Mk.l04B2 will be licence- built in the USA by Gen eral Dine-Amex, a little- known credit-card com bine which grew out of the rationalisation of US military contractors early in 1993. USAir buys Brit ish Airways, and puts it into Chapter 11, as a way of levelling the playing field. DECEMBER: NATO reaches a decision on Bosnia. A rapid-reaction force (the 12th Irrawaddy Appeasers) is to be sent to Washing ton, to ask Mr Clinton to desist from making empty threats. Manufacturers in the CIS announce a fur ther 23 programmes in volving re-engineing of Eastern airframes with Western engines: the Rotax range is most popu lar. Worldwide passenger growth for the year is neg ative, except in first class, which has been filled throughout the year by Bermuda 2 negotiators. The biggest fleet listed in the Budgie News World Air Forces Directory is that of the Desert Air Force. ...ELECTRIC! The Royal Navy has retired its last three English Electric Canberra TT.18 target tugs after 23 years of service. Their tasks will be taken over by civilian Dassault Falcon 20s operated by Flight Refuelling, which also provided crews for the Canberras. FLIGHT INTERNATIONAL 6 - 12 January, 1993
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