No turkey (At a Megaplanes press conference)

Bill Baffled: "Er...so what you are saying is this giant piece of composite fuselage was basically cooked in an oven?"

Megaplanes: "That's correct. We put it in the oven the Monday after Thanksgiving, but I want to stress that this is NO Thanksgiving turkey!"

Baffled: "But it's still sort-a-plastic. So aren't you afraid of some bozo busting a big hole in the side with a forklift?"

Megaplanes: "A forklift will go through it, but a bozo-driven forklift will go through an aluminium airplane with even greater ease."

Big opportunity (Overheard in newsroom)

Monty Orangeball: "Have you seen the ad in this week's mag for a 'Heavy Aircraft Navigator'?"

Stewart Sidewinder: "Yes, very interesting. What's the minimum requirement?"

Monty: "About 250lb, I should think."

eBay gum

Fancy a new do-it-yourself challenge? Tired of the humdrum routine of life and want something new? Try a Polish-built MiG-17 (LIM5) for size. It's yours for something around $15,900, according to an intriguing item on eBay. The ad seems to suggest the sale could also suit someone with an interest in catering:

"Aircraft with engine, complete cockpit, ejection seat etc. Aircraft is in good condition, very complete but in need of restauration [sic]. No excessive corrosion or damage. Very nice restauration project, or for spares. Will sell and ship world wide."

Euro (control) 2005? Rather than slotting an aircraft on to finals, some Italian air traffic controllers have allegedly been caught slotting the ball in the net. According to reports on news.com.au, an Italian prosecutor has asked a judge to sentence 36 air traffic controllers to up to 19 months in jail after some of them were spotted playing soccer or going shopping instead of working at a Milan airport. The report says on average, only half the 40 controllers who should have been on duty were actually at work during the investigation. It adds that the investigation was launched after an incident in 2000, when the absence of air traffic controllers at Linate during a blackout at a Rome airport left the airport too short-staffed to cope with the extra work. Police filmed some of the missing controllers on shopping trips, or playing soccer during working hours, it says.

Contacted by our Italian special investigation expert Ali Talia, the police were apparently unable to confirm the controllers' excuse that they were simply practising curved approaches after being inspired by the Eurocontrol training video "Bend it like Beckham".

Source: Flight International