Straight & Level: 23 May 2006

Enough to make you weep?

“FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE. Air Force B-1B damaged. SOUTHWEST ASIA – A US Air Force B-1B Lancer was heavily damaged during a landing at a forward operating location yesterday. The aircraft, with its crew of four, slid 7,500ft [2,290m] before coming to rest on the runway with its landing gear in the retracted position. All four crew members egressed the aircraft safely. The B-1B is forward deployed from Dyess AFB, Texas. The accident is under investigation.”

I bet it is. It is also painfully reminiscent of “that” part from the film Battle of Britain:

Pilot watching Spitfire from ground: “One of your elite. Trying to land without wheels.”
(Spitfire makes go-around and then lands. Pilot is greeted by a mechanic.)Mechanic: “And welcome home, sir. Undercarriage level a bit sticky, was it, sir?” Pilot: “Well yes. As a matter of fact it was.”
Mechanic: “Well I wouldn’t tell the CO that, sir. Not if I were you.”

Nephew Fabio Schulthess has spotted this interesting departure from Munich’s Franz Josef Strauss airport : “GIVMI 2W”. Or, as requested by the crews: “Give me two whisky.” Meanwhile, overheard while flying along the US East Coast:
Condor: “New York, Condor 050 position”
New York: “Who is calling?”
Condor: “It’s Condor 050, Condor! Like the big ugly bird that eats raw meat”

Way down under

(More waypoint humour, but why not?) Nephew Paul Robson suggests that close inspection of the low-level airways charts of New Zealand will reveal, towards the north coast of South Island the waypoint “BOLOX”. “Someone at Airways NZ clearly has a sense of humour,” he says. And from nephew Sepp Moser, who says a fix north of Zurich, over which “unlucky fellows have to hold for a good part of eternity”, is called RILAX.

Jargon filter

It’s always good to know the nephews and nieces are out there to ensure we at Budgie News do not get carried away a bit with ourselves. Nephew David Leatherdale, for example, writes to say: “I presume that airframer is the trendy term for an aircraft manufacturer. Does it follow that trainers make trains, shippers make ships and carers make cars?”

Thanks for the note: I’ll make sure it is included in the agenda for the next anti-jargonalisational steering group process meeting.

The price is right (sort of)

Budgie News: “What is your list price for the Mega Freighter?”

Megaplanes: “It’s on the website, but to be honest I never look at it because we don’t ever get it!”

Yuck speak (series of 1,000,000)
We are reviewing best practices = stealing

Read Flight from 1956 or read Uncle Roger's web log.