SpongeBob SquareTarget

Not satisfied with proving the increasingly pinpoint accuracy of today's weapons with the usual cardboard bull's-eye, engineers testing a recent GBU-12 Paveway II drop from an unmanned air vehicle at China Lake in California, decided to liven up the event by putting an inflatable plastic SpongeBob SquarePants on a seat on top of the target. For those of you not in the know, SpongeBob is a bright yellow cartoon character who generally lives under the sea and, in the best traditions of most children's entertainment, soon becomes intensely annoying to the average grown-up. What better antidote then than to aim a 500lb laser-guided bomb at him?

Budgie News: "And the result?"

Gen Strike: "A massive explosion which blew the target [a freight container] to smithereens."

Budgie News: "Oh, and what's that small dot 350ft up in the air captured on the video stills?"

Gen Strike: "Er - SpongeBob, who survived the impact and floated gently back to Earth."

Flying fur

It is true: on 9 August, a BAE Systems Avro RJ85 from Brussels bound for Vienna with 58 passengers and four crew was forced to return when an "aggressive" cat somehow ended up on the flightdeck. The cat, belonging to a passenger, had escaped its cage when its owner fell asleep and sneaked through the flightdeck door when lunch was being delivered; the animal started hissing when the crew tried to force it out from its hiding place. The captain elected to return, having consulted his ops manual and discovered (no doubt to his complete shock) "there are no standing rules for pilots on how to handle aggressive cats in the cockpit".

Our man on the scene assures us there is absolutely no truth to the rumours now circulating that a follow-up memo is doing the rounds advising aircrew to the "dangers of pussy on the flightdeck".


Even the busy Budgie hacks at the recent Hampshire air pageant have to eat. Having chosen splendid French cuisine as his choice of the day, our very own Rollo Freelunch was therefore happy to assist the friendly interviewer who collared him as he left the Hairbrush chalet feeling fully refreshed and replete. Imagine his surprise, therefore, when Freelunch noted that the card given to him by the canvasser said "THANK YOU for giving your time to Dipsticks Research". Now he knows for certain there really is no such thing as a free lunch.


Source: Flight International