Boldly going…where?


Reporting from the recent Airline Business Future of Air Travel conference in London, our special Irish Sea correspondent and part-time business writer Rex Stocks sends us this report:


Soon-to-be-departing Aer Fungus boss Willie Walsh says the buzz around Dublin is that Ryanair major-domo Mike O'Leary may be planning to steal the lead taken by Sir Richard Branson's Virgin with commercial spaceflights. "Trouble is, Ryanair Galactic would drop you 20km from the nearest planet and charge you a little extra for weightlessness," Walsh says.


Budgie News special


Catching the tail end of the recent spate of stories about cats, mice, spiders and other creatures in the cockpit, Nephew Brent Henry tells me of a true tale involving a Tengah-based RAF Canberra crew. Tasked with flying back to the UK, one of the crew decided to take his budgerigar back home with him as well. Chirruping happily, the small bird sat safely in his cage for take-off and all seemed well. However, as some of you will recall, the Canberra cockpit was pressurised only to an equivalent of half the altitude plus 2,000ft. After about 30min at cruise altitude, the budgie became anoxic and fell off his perch. The navigator opened his cage, took out the budgie, removed his mask and gave it a whiff of 100% oxygen. Once revived, the budgie was popped back on its perch and stayed there until it fell off again. The process was repeated successfully all the way from Tengah to Akrotiri where, upon arrival, the crew were given rooms near the mess. While its owner showered and changed, the budgie was also allowed out of its cage to stretch its wings. At the appointed hour, the other crew members came to the room, and flung open the door. The budgie, which was airborne at the time, flew straight out the door into the night and was never seen again!


Tales of the unexpected


Intrigued by a report from the US Air Force Research Lab's August "Teleportation Physics (???) Report", Budgie News's very own "Weird Stuff" specialist Jodrell Blank called to find out more:

Blank: "So what's all this about? Is it some sort of joke?"

Major Scam: "No, not at all. Psychic (???) teleportation, or moving a person from location to location through mind power, is quite real and can be controlled."

Blank: "I see, and how much are you asking for in additional research funds?"

Scam: "Oh…we think $7.5 million should cover it."

Blank: "$7.5 million! You must be out of your mind."

Scam: "That's the whole idea sir."


Source: Flight International