Route proving? Budgie News: "So where will the interstellar Megatwin do its route proving flights? I mean, if you can fly non-stop for three days, where do you go?" Megaplanes: "We'll fly to France and circle the Airbus plant for two days." Budgie News: "And that's supposed to be proving a route?" Magaplanes: "No – proving a point."

Rocket Science Kansas Centre: "Execjet 45 look for traffic FL390, four miles to your south." Kansas Centre: "Northwest 123, do you see traffic?" Execjet: "He won't see us anyway." NW123: (Bemused) "Why not, are you stealth or something?" (brief sound of laughter). Execjet: "No, just really, really, really tiny… it's a bit complicated."

Pay attention there Just when you thought it was safe to leave the editing room… Botch-up one: Advert for contact lenses "Hi, I'm Pamela. I'm an airline pilot [shows 747 taking off]. On long flights my eyes started to get sore and I had to use my glasses, so I went to see my doctor and he recommended these Ultra super vision contacts. Now everything is so clear!"

Botch-up two: Super-volcano BBC docudrama Good re-enactment of the 1982 Birdseed flight out of Kuala Lumpur, which passed through a cloud of volcanic ash over Java. In the scene the flight engineer leant forward and told the pilot: "We have just lost number 4 engine". But then what do we see? A (aaaaahh de Havilland) Trident flying through the ash cloud. (Thanks to Nephew Pete Munro, who thinks the Trident "actually lost its number 4 engine about 25 years before this"… unless you're counting the tiny little RB. 162-82 boost engine in the 3B?.)

Uncle Roger's spring bookshelf Where to next? Harry's Aviation World By Harry Folkard You have probably read gripping accounts of the airline trailblazers as told from the cockpit, or waded through studious texts from boardroom memoirs, but how often does one get the chance of hearing it from the grassroots perspective of the pioneering ground station staff? Spread throughout the world in distant outposts, and frequently facing local difficulties far from the support of home base, people like the author of this splendid little book often worked minor miracles for their far away masters. Harry's story, told with wit and sincerity covers an amazing 52 years of service with BOAC, BA, Oman Air and Aeroflot, and tells a lesson or two about both management and resourcefulness along the way. Published by Cirrus Associates (S.W.) Kington Magna, Gillingham, Dorset, SP8 5EW, UK ISBN 1902807 17.0 Price: £12.95 ($25) TAB rating: Middle Shelf


Source: Flight International