Virtual reality (Overheard in Budgie News office.) With tensions mounting before the first flight of the Hairbrush Megaliner, ex-Budgie News staffer A H Hawker recalls an earlier occasion when he called Scruggs Aeroscrape at Warton to check on the imminent first flight of the Tornado F3: Budgie News: "We understand the first flight is going to happen anytime now, is that true?" Scruggs: "I'm sorry, I can't hear you; there's an aircraft just taking off...(unmuffled apocalyptic roar in background)...say again." At least it was difficult for Scruggs to deny when the aircraft was so noisy in Lancashire that it was audible in London. Truly overheard in the Budgie News office!

Rocket science? A puzzling incident at a major Asian airport has the local carrier apparently baffled. "Prior to aircraft take-off at Bangkok International airport, the pilot-in-command realised that there was irregularity regarding the right wing and therefore had a technician conduct an investigation. It was concluded that the wingtip of the right wing had fallen off, whereby at the same time the company's operations centre reported that an aircraft part was found on the wing of Singapore Airlines' aircraft flight SQ068 that was parked at Parking Bay 52, whereby the aileron on the left wing had been torn at a certain length." The airline adds that a committee to investigate the incident has been formed. Ummmm...get me Scotland Yard!

ATC protocol Tower: "Have you got enough fuel or not?" Pilot: "Yes" Tower: "Yes what?" Pilot: "Yes, SIR!"

ATC surprise Control: "You are unreadable, say again." Motor-glider: "I've turned off the engine, is that better?" Control: (lonnnnnnnnnnnng pause)

ATC exasperation Air Canada 1147: "Moncton, Air Canada 1147, can you get the winds from 167 above us?"Moncton: "As soon as I get a chance, I will. (some time passes with continuous radio chatter)AC 1147: "Moncton, 1147, what are the winds up there?"Moncton: "Standby for that please." (more radio chatter)AC1147: "Moncton, can you ask company 167 for his winds?"Moncton: "OK, 1147 and 167, I have a little too much to do for that sort of thing right now. I'll leave it up to you guys to go over to company frequency and pass wind."

Source: Flight International